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Saturday, November 17, 2007

Lockjaw 


Your jaw is only meant to open so far:

A YAWNING husband almost died – after his mouth got stuck wide open.

Tired Ben Shire was making a cuppa when he strained his jaw so much he dislocated it.

The horrified store worker, 34, collapsed in his kitchen unable to breathe or swallow.

His frantic wife dialled 999 as he lay choking on his saliva.

Ambulancemen rushed him to hospital with his jaw still locked – and brought him back from the brink of death using a suction device.

Ben said yesterday after medics won a FOUR-HOUR battle to close his mouth: “We can laugh about it now – but it wasn’t funny at the time.

I actually know a guy whose jaw locked open while he was, er, administering to his wife. They were on vacation in New Orleans -- laissez les bon temps rouler! -- and she had to take him to the emergency room where the doctor released his jaw and then mercilessly questioned him about what he was doing that caused him to open his mouth so wide. Intrusive as it may have been, I sort of understand the doctor's curiousity, especially insofar as it is hard to imagine the appeal of the technique he must have been using. And, no, I never had the courage to ask his wife about that, but seeing as how it is Saturday any female readers are welcome to offer their euphamistically phrased reactions in the comments.

5 Comments:

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Nov 18, 01:06:00 AM:

At least his wife had the common sense to call 911 and he is alive becuase of the miricle of modern medical prosuders tested on animals and he would,nt be alive if the wacks from PETA had their way  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Nov 19, 12:57:00 AM:

That happened to me once.

Well, I was playing volleyball and got smacked in the jaw by a high speed serve, not anything FUN, but still...

Didn't have any problem breathing though.  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Tue Nov 20, 06:09:00 PM:

It is killing me that I do not have a blog, from whence I can link, saying "Look! Another sex post from TigerHawk!"

Heh.  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Tue Nov 20, 06:10:00 PM:

...and do they really have to be euphemistically phrased?

What a buzz kill.

*running away*  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri Nov 23, 12:40:00 AM:

Imagine AL GORE getting lockjaw and is unable to open his mouth and let out all that HOT AIR his head would swll up and he would float away like one of those colorul balloons  

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